Saturday, July 10, 2010

If You Are Pretty and You Know It Clap Your Hands!

Today's blog will consist of low fat dressing and self image. They do go together don't they?

Remember the lady in the salad dressing commercial that sits down to have lunch with her girlfriends? A salad is placed before her, she passes on the dressing she is offered. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a bottle of fat free Wishbone dressing. She has a great big smile of satisfaction, even offers the dressing to her friends. You can see as the commercial starts that all her friends are smaller in size than she is, she could be sporting a sweet little body under that tweed suit coat but her shoulder pads cause her to resemble a football player more than a simple housewife. Her friends love her though they have just realized she carries dressing in her purse, what else is she hiding about herself?

I have turned into this lady, except I don't wear chunky shoulder pads, I wear a tire around my waist. However, since starting the Astronaut Diet and I am on the run and pick up a salad from a fast food place I find myself in a pinch, there is not 0carb, 0sugar, 0fat, 0taste dressing available.

After grabbing the fast food loot, I pull over to pass out the goods to the crazy people in the back of my vehicle (these people would be my children) I take out my salad and lift the plastic lid seeing the rabbit food staring me in the face, it's laughing at me just like vegetables in my fridge. First, I pick off the shredded cheese, closing my eyes as I do so thinking to myself "who in their right mind would willingly pick off chilled shredded cheese and put it in last weeks fast food bag they still have in the car and will stay there until their next birthday." I continue discarding, the croutons go, the bits of bacon and the dressing that is calling my name plop into the sack. I try to talk one of my children into eating the croutons so that I can watch them and remember the enjoyment that spreads across your face as you bite into carbs, but they refuse, it's not necessary to fill themselves up with croutons when they have fries, cheeseburgers and a soda to wash it all down with.

It's past my lunch time by about two hours and the starving scary lady is about to burst through me like the Incredible Hulk and I think to myself "Why didn't I put my 0carbs, 0fat, 0sugar, 0taste salad dressing in my purse today?"

On another note I have some thoughts on the line "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I don't know who coined the phrase but I picture the person to be a woman, very gangly, no money for braces, balding and has a rare disease where no matter what she does, not even the Astronaut Diet (Gasp) she can't lose weigh and gains at a rapid speed.

One day she wakes up and says "I won't let beauty control my life! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I am beautiful no matter what!" So she lives an amazing life and dies and goes to heaven and gets to be a supermodel because her attitude allowed her to do good in the world.

My point is, if you love your family and you do everything to make sure you give them what they need, you never want to put yourself first, you keep them safe, happy, healthy and choosing the right then why would it be okay to be self-absorbed, obsessed with your looks? Wondering if you are good enough, if people accept you, if your butt looks good in last years jeans cause you had to buy groceries and now you can't afford this years style.

What it comes down to is if you care enough about your family's well being you will get over yourself and move on. Don't be selfish and dwell on what you cannot change. Aspire to improve on what you can do and the person you can be if you free yourself from self hatred.

I know a woman that is so beautiful that that is why I wanted to be her friend. She's so beautiful that people stare, gawk and stalk her (I do, that's why I am going to MT is to see her, then my family) she's an amazing person, she has four teenage boys and is a great mom. I am guessing that she would give up that beauty to have her husband back that she lost eight years ago while her boys were young. So yes she looks like a model and I obsess about looking like one but in the end all it comes down to are the trials each of us are given and how we get through them. That is where I believe the woman conjured up the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" knew what she was talking about.

So I am pledging to be done with this obsession and move on to being the person I can be, I will not let this speed bump or more like road construction that hasn't let me through for most of my life keep me from healing. I refuse to let my husband or children be affected by my self absorbtion. I cannot change how I look but I can put the obsession behind me and move on!

I would love for everyone that reads this to leave a comment, no hate mail please, I said I am on the road to self love sobriety not that I was there! If you didn't like anything you read just come up with something good to say that is positive like: "I loved how you used punctuation at the end of each sentence" or "Your spelling was super neat" or "I am impressed that you know how to type" anything is welcomed, you can even tell your story or why self love sobriety is important to you! Take the pledge today! Starla