Dear Denise,
So here is a story for you!
When you think about it, life is hard, if you don’t think about it, it’s
still hard. So what do you do? What’s that you say? You say just get
pregnant and think about that…hahaha! I
imagine pregnancy like being in the middle of Heaven and Hell….more hellish in
the beginning and more Heaven once the little bambino comes out of the rabbit
hole.
Other things I think about are…what do you do when your kids
are gone, you only have one left…that you make watch t.v. so you can shower,
put on makeup while listening to bad music and all the while feel guilty for
all of the above. Yeah, my psychiatrist
says feeling THAT guilty isn’t normal….because I think you are supposed to
shower every day and it’s not like you are doing something you want like going
out to drink and forget all your problems, unless you do, drive home and crash
into a tree…then you would have new problems to think about.
When you notice you are missing your wedding dress, can’t
remember the last time you saw it, but your husband mentions he saw it in the
garage the other day and says to you “I thought it was okay to leave it out
there cause it’s already been out there for a year, what’s a little longer
gunna hurt?” He gets the look of death from me and then we go out and bring it
in with a ton of other clothes that have been missing….it’s okay cause they are
our skinny clothes and we REALLY haven’t needed them….I do now call it the INSPIRING
skinny pile now that it’s in a heap on the couch and I don’t want to know or
care where to put it away.
The tredmil hasn’t been used for a year, I know this because
Kody and I found a mouse nest in the inside of it, yep, that’s bad and I don’t
want to clean it, I don’t exercise and I am even scared to touch it, knowing I
will gain weight instantly from the skinny Gods. They are angry at me….I hear their voices…(to
self: make note to tell psychiatrist that you do hear voices in your head and
also do have OCD-called I can’t exercise or I think I might die).
This document is called (the bunnie.doc) because I am lame
and don’t know how to open a new document in 1.1 sec, so I give up and find the
lamest doc. that I have been in charge of and then delete the cute picture of
the bunny with an Easter egg that I have saved for some reason. (note to
self-color eggs with kids during Christmas break so I can say we DID actually
color them this year)! Oh, and speaking
of bunnies…it seems like you and Nick have been acting like them, bunny in the
oven….lol!
Hmmm…..what else, oh, have I told you that you are my
favorite littlest sister, because you can crochet and make supper cute things,
and make awesomely funny comebacks when I text you naughty things….or when we
watch movies and you give me one liners? Lol!
Not to mention all the clothes for my kids you have provided throughout
the years, the haircuts and colours (I know that’s not how you spell it, but it’s
Fancy and I want to be like Fancy Nancy when I grow up and we got to Paris
together)….I don’t think it’s gay to give a friend or sister a plane ticket to
accompany her to Paris for her first time, I see it more as a safe way to run
into a sexy man named Jaque without your husband holding you back. Promise we will have lunch in the middle of the rain like you sent of that picture the other day, can I bring a date….Jon
Pierre is his name, I just have to stalk and find him when we get there, which
won’t be a problem since that is how I got married at such a young age…just
call me stalker mama!
Thank you for all of your support, you are very cool and I
love you….hope you don’t mind that I am posting this on my blog…but it will
make me feel accomplished and you asked for it….muwah xoxo, Starla
