Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I Fought the Scale and the Scale Won!

I think it was Friday of last week that I woke up and weighed myself, and was wonderfully surprised to see that since Wed. I had lost 7lbs. On Wed. I was 1_3lbs. and on Friday I was 1_0lbs. I felt good about this and decided to weigh myself again on Sat. I was down to the next middle number, I wanted to check to see if I had lost one pound so that I wouldn't be in the _____ties but in the ____ties and I was so happy to find out that not only had I gone down to the next level of numbers but I had also lost four more pounds. So what the scale was telling me was that since Wed. I had lost 7lbs. You should have seen me get on a new shirt that is super cute, get dressed and hop into the car to go to Walmart (I am never this happy to go to Walmart) to go to my eye doctor and have him give me a prescription for my contacts. I was smiling I thought that even though I was wearing exercise pants (capris) that are stretchy cotton I looked like a babe (at least I felt like a babe). I was so happy that I hadn't cheated although all night my children looked like Hershey kisses, marshmallows, chocolate covered rasins, milk name it they just looked tastey. I was full of energy had a great attitude, smiled lots and even took two kids with me to the store even though I could have gone alone. The appt. went great, I complimented the doctor on a good job, we chatted and then Kody went to get a hair cut at "Cost Cutters" while Isabel and I picked up a few items. We listened to musical cards and ran around looking for a birthday gift, smelled a number of different deoderants (we picked up a manly one for Kody). We went to go get him and I wasn't surprised to see that once again they botched the hair cut, I wasn't going to let that bring me down. I paid for the stuff and we went to Wendy's for lunch, no....the kids got Wendy's for lunch. I got to go home and have chicken breast, cucumbers and cauliflower, yeah! I walked into the door and it hit, the "hunger anger" I heard the echo of my voice and it sounded like a man's deep serious voice shouting "Get out of my way, I need to eat!" The voice was in slow motion, I felt my face scrunch, my teeth show as my lips curled, and my eyebrows sunk. The look of death had overtaken my face. I placed the grocery bags on the floor and went to the refrigerator. I pulled out a whole green pepper, turned around staring at my family as if to say "I dare you to keep me from eating." I brought the cold hulk colored peper to my mouth and I tore into it like a coyote devoring his deer after a long fast. I started to think clearly, I knew I needed space still but the echoing of the deep voice faded and the curves of my lips started to curl upward as I noticed my kids were happy to see me home, I think they were happy, maybe they were just relieved that I had ripped into the pepper and not into one of them. I grabbed more vegetables and swallowed chewed up chunks of chicken my face softened and I heard people talking and I was responding in a motherly manner, within minutes I noticed the food was gone. Thankfully we have the Weekly Menu Diary so I could see that I had eaten all that was aloud and headed for a shaker full of water. I announced "You may all talk to mommy now." Oh, they new I was back because then I started to ask what happened to the house when mommy was gone and where was daddy during the time I was gone. I love to hear their version vs. their dad's version of what he was doing to watch over the children. Their version goes something like this. "Daddy wouldn't feed us lunch and he made us stay outside the whole time, he wouldn't even let us have a drink!" Steve's version. "They said what? No, darn kids I told them I would make them lunch, we would go outside and drink water. I was playing with them the whole time that's why we didn't get lunch done yet, I was just starting to do it when you got home!" So I ask the kids. "Daddy said he was outside playing with you the whole time and that is why he didn't get you lunch yet, is that right?" Kids. "He was in the garage looking for his High School yearbook and we never saw him!" I glance over at my husband. "You guys are so dead, see if I buy you doughnuts next time mom leaves." "OOOOhhhhhh, Dad, we're sorry but we had to tell her the truth." "Didn't I tell you guys you could look at me in the garage while I looked for that book? Isn't that paying attention to you? I guess we just won't hang out in the garage anymore if that's what you want." "NO, Dad, no we like being with you in the garage, Daaaadddddddy we're sorry!" Pouting. Then I have to rectify the situation and tell the kids Dad's just kidding and tell Steve their just kids and they did need lunch and he would say "They can make their lunch, I told them where the bread was, I even told them where the jelly was but they said they wanted to stare at me in the garage. We were having fun, I was even making jokes, they were laughing. We were having a good time!" I love my family but you never know what you're going to get when you get home. Unfortunately they usually know what they are going to get when I get home, I always hope it was worth it to them to trash the house and act like animals for the little amount of time that I escaped.

So I had a good day until I was starving and the rest of the night was going well until my pre-teen daughter Monica informed me that I had been complaining too much about the diet. "Not to be mean but you are complaining a lot." She says. "You do it and see if you complain Monica." I say. "Okay!" She sat there with the biggest smirk on her face, I think she might be a touch competitive with me. I felt bad I don't know why, I don't want to complain but the no sugar thing is like offering yourself to go to a torture camp and be happy about it. I decided though that I would try to not complain as much, I am pretty sure I haven't improved too much but atleast there is the desire to do better.

Here's where the story of dieting and the scale gets ugly. I was so happy on Saturday that I had lost weight that I told the kids it was like Christmas Eve because I planned on waking up in the morning to re-weigh. It was 7:30am on Sunday morning, I bounced down the stairs and got on the scale, at first I thought I wasn't seeing the numbers right because I didn't have glasses on or contacts in, I pressed select again and re-weighed. It said that I had gained two pounds! I couldn't breathe my chest was tight, my eyes began to sting with the salty tears that threatened to come. I sighed, and told the kids I thought the scale was broken, this $35.00 + tax scale was broken. Because there was no way that I had gained two pounds, I know that it was water that I lost the other day and that's fine if it was but for heck sake stay the same down gain it back. I think that their should be a rule with the fancy scales that once the weight is shown it can only stay the same or go down. That kind of scale would sell like hot cakes ( cakes, with butter all melty hot seeping through and the sugary sweet thick strawberry syrup running over the pile of pure heaven.....oh, mmmmm.....yes) sorry got side-tracked for a minute. So needless to say I was a wreck the rest of the day. Not on purpose but I just wasn't ready for that, I got dressed for church and my skirt was tight. Steve was staying home so I had to go teach the class and take kids by myself. I don't know why but I associate teaching a primary class with candy so it makes it that much harder to go there. I mean church houses beautiful potlucks, luncheons, parties I mean the have a kitchen for heck sake. I told myself to get a life and cool it because it had only been six days. We got home and had an enjoyable rest of the day and I was happy that this diet has made me feel better about myself, has given me back my flawless skin and took me off my sugar addiciton. I have even been nicer to my husband thanks to giving up caffeine and sugar highs. No more happy and then sad sugar highs and crashes, just a mellow mommy with a messy house. At least I feel better! Ta! Ta!